Heya.
So when I was just a few months old, my mom left my dad because he was, well, an ass hole. He drank and would mentally and sometimes physically abuse her. So I've had a problem with this my entire life, because I never spoke to or actually saw him except for once or twice. About two or three years ago he decided to drop by from where he lives in New York and have lunch with us. Since I am a naturally shy person and didn't know this guy, I did not want to go. Of course this was no problem to him, he just left with my sisters and they had a grand old time. Since that day the contact between my one sister and him has been a little stronger, but my oldest sister had a fight with him and never spoke to him again. His wife is also a real brainwashed bitch based on conversations she's had with my one sister.
I guess my problem is that he thinks there is nothing wrong with the fact that he never even tried to contact us and I feel like sometimes he cares more about my older sisters that he does about me. It really hurts because I feel like I did nothing to deserve this and he doesn't even feel the least bit sorry for it. Now I have problems with men in general, and he is to blame for it. I really hate him.
And the reason this is brought up again today is because he 'friended' my sister on facebook, and I was worried that he wouldn't friend me. Now I don't know if this is just me, but I shouldn't have to be worried about my own "father" forgeting about me and not 'friending' me on facebook.
Well I just checked a few minutes ago and he did friend me, but I don't know whether to accept it or not. I don't want to because I'm so mad at him for everything, but I don't want him to forget about me. Even though he pretty much already has.
Fuck you, Don. fuck you.
-Jay
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Good Day?? :/
Sup. So yesterday I had my drivers test and I PASSED :) , so I was really excited and all. It was my first attempt as well ;D
However, my sister was not crazy about it because she didn't have her license yet and she failed TWICE... Which I feel really bad about, but ya know what that has nothing to do with me, and I don't think just because I'm younger than her that I shouldn't get mine until she does. That's just not fair to me, so I went for it anyway.
Well I didn't want to tell her, but of course she came home and asked me if I got it and I said kind of mellowly, "yes...." and then she just exploded. She started yelling at me and my mom and she was insulting me and my intelligence and just really hurting my feelings. I know why, but just because she feels that way doesn't mean she has to be such a bitch about it. I'm like afraid to drive now if she knows about it. She's not mad at the moment, but I don't think I want to mention it around her anytime soon. I mean, this is the first good thing that has happened to me in a VERY long time, especially after not getting the job and just feeling kind of useless.
Yes, I know she probably feels the same way and I understand, but while she was yelling and rabelrousing, I just sat there and did not say a single word. I was so upset. Here I was thinking this was awesome that I had this new freedom, and right when I get home I just feel like crap again.
Can't wait for college; if I even get in. (That's a different matter for another day.)
-Jay
However, my sister was not crazy about it because she didn't have her license yet and she failed TWICE... Which I feel really bad about, but ya know what that has nothing to do with me, and I don't think just because I'm younger than her that I shouldn't get mine until she does. That's just not fair to me, so I went for it anyway.
Well I didn't want to tell her, but of course she came home and asked me if I got it and I said kind of mellowly, "yes...." and then she just exploded. She started yelling at me and my mom and she was insulting me and my intelligence and just really hurting my feelings. I know why, but just because she feels that way doesn't mean she has to be such a bitch about it. I'm like afraid to drive now if she knows about it. She's not mad at the moment, but I don't think I want to mention it around her anytime soon. I mean, this is the first good thing that has happened to me in a VERY long time, especially after not getting the job and just feeling kind of useless.
Yes, I know she probably feels the same way and I understand, but while she was yelling and rabelrousing, I just sat there and did not say a single word. I was so upset. Here I was thinking this was awesome that I had this new freedom, and right when I get home I just feel like crap again.
Can't wait for college; if I even get in. (That's a different matter for another day.)
-Jay
Friday, July 29, 2011
Jobs suck
I realize this economy sucks and everything, but why do people have to be so rude when you are applying to their company for a job? I don't understand how a person can just be like that to someone who honestly needs the money. I am getting sick of searching and applying and being told I can't have the job because I'm not 18 yet, or I'm not outgoing enough or wtf ever. I just so sick of it!
I applied to a store in my area that is pretty much perfect in every way and is very dim on the inside. I thought, "Well I hear people get paid a lot here n what not" so I applied online, and waited to hear back from them.
Now I know you're supposed to call the places yourself to show that you have initiative in your life, but I kind of forgot who to call, since I had applied to so many places...
But anyway, they called me about a week ago, and I had the interview this past tuesday. I thought it went okay. I didn't think I said anything that would make them not want me, I actually said the perfect things that I wouldn't normally say if I wanted to act like myself. Which is pretty much what you're supposed to do in an interview. if I was truthful, I would've told her about my horrible attendance at school (I mean, HORRIBLE), my social anxiety (and I was applying for a cashier job) and even the fact that I didn't have my license yet. Well of course I said none of these things.
Maybe it was because I didn't dress up enough for a fucking retail job (which I think I looked pretty nice that day anyway) or maybe it was because I wasn't an overly perky slut or a troublemaker which are the only people they seem to hire(Which I seriously just dont understand why), or maybe she was just a cruel person who loved to see innocent teens suffer.
I DONT GET IT, but of course I get an email today telling me that "This job isn't the right one for you". I was so pissed, I just couldn't believe it. The only place that will hire me is a dirty fast food place with people who are known for hooking up in the back closet. Oh believe me, I've heard stories.
I hate everyone.
-Jay
I applied to a store in my area that is pretty much perfect in every way and is very dim on the inside. I thought, "Well I hear people get paid a lot here n what not" so I applied online, and waited to hear back from them.
Now I know you're supposed to call the places yourself to show that you have initiative in your life, but I kind of forgot who to call, since I had applied to so many places...
But anyway, they called me about a week ago, and I had the interview this past tuesday. I thought it went okay. I didn't think I said anything that would make them not want me, I actually said the perfect things that I wouldn't normally say if I wanted to act like myself. Which is pretty much what you're supposed to do in an interview. if I was truthful, I would've told her about my horrible attendance at school (I mean, HORRIBLE), my social anxiety (and I was applying for a cashier job) and even the fact that I didn't have my license yet. Well of course I said none of these things.
Maybe it was because I didn't dress up enough for a fucking retail job (which I think I looked pretty nice that day anyway) or maybe it was because I wasn't an overly perky slut or a troublemaker which are the only people they seem to hire(Which I seriously just dont understand why), or maybe she was just a cruel person who loved to see innocent teens suffer.
I DONT GET IT, but of course I get an email today telling me that "This job isn't the right one for you". I was so pissed, I just couldn't believe it. The only place that will hire me is a dirty fast food place with people who are known for hooking up in the back closet. Oh believe me, I've heard stories.
I hate everyone.
-Jay
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